Is HAPPINESS Really Just About The Journey?

We’ve all heard the old adage: “It’s the journey, not the destination.” What if, in the end, that advice will lead to big disappointments? 

Let’s talk a little bit about the non-physical side of living an active lifestyle – the mindfulness side – the mentally fit side. It takes both physical and mental fitness to do what we do on more difficult activities. 

The topic today is examining an idea that is often embraced by those who want a more complete experience in this lifestyle.

This idea expressed in “It’s the journey, not the destination” centers around getting the most out of each moment, being present and intentional. 

It suggests that the sum of moments throughout our life is who we become, and therefore our focus should not be on big goals, but rather on each moment. The greater number of enriched, enjoyable moments we have, the happier our life will be. That makes sense.

This whole concept suggests a number of things that would take hours to discuss in detail, so, I’m just going to boil it down to the core. 

The basis of not focusing on the destination (our big life goals) is that life is best lived by making the most out of each day, each decision, each opportunity that comes our way. It’s a bit of a pragmatic approach to living. It suggests that we shouldn’t obsess over and let our lives be measured by whether or not we achieved big goals or pointed accomplishments. Because in doing that, we don’t notice or we miss or we dismiss all those special moments along the way - and therefore we will have less happiness and joy in our life. That’s the idea.

Associating this with hiking, you’ll hear a lot of thru hikers, especially, adopt this or something like it. And they’ll tell you that for them it’s about the journey and not the destination that they are out there just living in the moment. 

But I could argue that thru hikers who say that this is their constant state of mind – that they are hiking without the goal of finishing - are probably not being completely genuine. Their happy-go-lucky outward presentation is a bit of a façade.

Now, don’t freak out on me – why would I say such a thing? It’s simple: Because thru hikers are “thru hiking” – they are hiking every day from one terminus toward the other terminus. They are out there to get from one point to the other – to get to the destination.

The undercurrent for thru hikers is in the name – to hike all the way thru. Some will say – “I don’t care if I finish” “It’s not a big deal” “I’m just enjoying each day”. This may be true to some degree in some moments on some days – but it’s a subtext to the main script: to complete this end to end journey. Otherwise, why choose a big trail? Just go walk aimlessly in the woods on any trail. You don’t have to do all this planning and book flights and fuss over all the logistics and details if you are just in it to enjoy moments. Go find your moments in a local trail. 

Let’s not fool ourselves. In the day-to-day of a thru-hike, the big goal is always in the back of our mind. Sure, most thru-hikers will take time to enjoy each day, the moments – no doubt – and we all should. 

In fact, if you listen to interviews with thru hikers who completed the trail, they’ll often talk more about the moments, the people, how they felt along the way... the tramily they were with... what they learned about themselves or others. That’s all part of it. But notice that not many of them will spend much time relishing the fact that they actually completed the trail. And that brings me to my point. 

Throughout my life I have done both. I have lived in the moment and I have also been ultra-focused on big goals.

I like BOTH for different reasons. I DON’T like EITHER for other reasons. 

For instance: 

If I’m completely in the moment for long periods – that is: free to do whatever I feel like doing in any moment on any day. That sense of freedom is powerful! I love it. It’s transformative.

BUT, if I’m that way all the time, I am aimless and without direction or hope of ending up somewhere intentional. It’s a life that lacks any tangible objective – no career goals (actually no career), no family goals, no financial goals, nothing to work toward or look forward to. It’s aimless, unaccomplished wondering. 

And on a societal basis, what if everyone was like that? It would result in poverty for everyone, because there would be no means of financing anything. There would be no production of critical goods or services. Sickness would kill off most of us because there would be no doctors or systems in place to help govern or control public health – the black plague all over again. There would be no basic infrastructure, highways, electrical grid, safe drinking water, etc. It would be an unmitigated disaster in every way for everyone. Civilization would collapse back into the stone age if we all had the mindset of just enjoying the moment all the time without being driven by getting somewhere.

And on an individual level, overtime, this life of purposely not starting anything to finish it or accomplishing anything noteworthy in our lives leads to emptiness and an unfulfilled life. We will have nothing to show for lives. Depression. Hopelessness. Really, the opposite as what the “just enjoy the journey people” promote, isn’t it?

So, I don’t think ultimate happiness or any lasting tangible benefit can be found in the journey itself. 

So, what’s on the other side? For the person completely focused on big goals, there is tunnel vision where nothing else matters except the goal. The purpose of every moment is to contribute to the goal. 

If that’s the case, then there is nothing reserved for anything else. Relationships suffer. People are destroyed because they matter less than the goal. We start seeing people as a means to the end and not as living souls with intrinsic value. We will loose empathy and respect for others. We only see or care about one thing. We become totally self-centered, cold, and heartless. Have you ever worked for someone like that?

We will also miss the small, amazing, miraculous things all around us. For these people, the only joy possible is at the end, but only IF they get to where they hoped to be. 

But even if they actually achieve the big goal, in reflection, a person often looks back to see the road of ruin they created. And they begin to have “what if” thoughts – regrets.

The inevitable end of those who are purely focused on the destination is way too often enormous disappointment, depression, hopelessness, and again, a life unfulfilled – even with a long list of accomplishments and a wall full of trophies. 

It’s not the journey and it’s not the destination. So, what’s the answer?

Well, of course - it’s both. It’s in the art of the balance.

With goals we have direction, purpose, and meaning. In moments throughout the journey, we have valuable experiences that provide a path for personal growth. We need both.

Like so many things in life – it’s not binary – it’s not a “one side or the other” kind of deal. It’s “both-and”. It ALL matters at different times and in different ways and in different measure. It’s ALL part of the equation. And it’s up to each of us to figure out the balance that works for us. 

Hiking long trails allows us to live this balance in a very tangible way. Long hikes gives us permission to get away from a mostly goal centered society so we can reclaim how to enjoy every day and to experience success in completing something hard. 

What if we don’t finish, for any reason? Well, this is the beauty of the balance. Not reaching a goal is not a complete failure, because we get to take with us all those great moments: the things we learned, the experience. And then we have an opportunity to apply all that to the next thing we try to accomplish. 

You want happiness? Set goals and get the most out of all the moments it takes to get there. 

And as always: Go Live Like You Want It!